A little girl lines up her soft toys on the bed, puts on a stern face and says, “Sit properly. No talking in class.” Her brother, meanwhile, listens to a teddy bear’s chest with a toy stethoscope and says that it needs medicine. In the next room, a child feeds a doll and scolds it in exactly the way her mother does.Most parents smile at moments like these. Sometimes we also get embarrassed a little when we hear our own words and tone coming back at us. It is funny, but it also makes us wonder: where do they get all this from? And is it just play, or are they telling us something?
5 Oct 2026 | 12:06
Parents, when your child refuses to greet relatives, do you make them say hello or respect their choice?
Children cannot yet be doctors, teachers, or parents, so they borrow those roles in play and try them on, the way we try on a coat that is a size too big.So what does this kind of play actually show about how children see the adult world, is it just fun and play, or is there something more to it?Let’s see what psychologists have to say.
What children’s role play really tells us
The most famous theory comes from the psychologist Lev Vygotsky, from a study published by the University of Virginia; he believed that in play, “it is as though [the child] were a head taller than himself.” In other words, children use pretend play to practise adult roles they can’t take on yet.A 2024 meta-analysis in Educational Psychology Review explains the thinking. In this view, children re-enact the world around them, and they take on roles such as teacher, doctor, store owner or customer. While doing so, they also practise negotiating play themes, social roles and rules. So when a child plays “school,” they are not only copying. They are working out who gets to speak, who gives the orders, and what the rules are.
But what do children actually want from these playful enactments?
A study from the University of Virginia’s Early Development Lab found that children strongly preferred real activities over pretend ones, though 3- to 4-year-olds liked pretend roles. That fits with the idea that taking on a grown-up role can feel especially exciting for young children.But these games and enactments are not the same across the world; in cultures where adults don’t value it as much, children pretend far less. So the games we see are influenced by the adults and the world around the child.
Do these pretend play games make children smarter?
Many people say that role play makes children smarter, kinder, or better at understanding others.A well-known 2013 review in Psychological Bulletin by Angeline Lillard and colleagues looked at the claims and raised the possibility that characteristics of the child, the adult, and the environment, rather than play itself, are the real causes.On the contrary, writing for SAGE, researchers note that the problems Lillard pointed out are real, but that scientists keep studying how make-believe may help children’s self-regulation. So the debate is still open.
