“It’s insanely lonely here”: 35-year-old Indian engineer with $360,000 savings rethinks life in the US
For many Indians who move abroad, the decision is often imagined as a straightforward trade-off: better salaries, international exposure and a different lifestyle in exchange for being away from family and familiar surroundings. But for one 35-year-old Indian engineer, 12 years of living in the US have left him questioning whether the life he built there is the one he actually wants. The engineer recently shared his dilemma on Reddit, saying that despite having a steady engineering job and savings of around $360,000, he feels increasingly lonely in the US. He is now considering returning to India, where he could potentially join his father’s construction business. His post, titled “Regretting Moving to the US,” was shared on Reddit’s r/returnToIndia community and has since been picked up by several news outlets.
Why he is thinking about returning to India
According to the post, the man moved to the US around 12 years ago and has maintained a steady job in engineering. He described himself as living in a high-cost-of-living city and said he has accumulated approximately $360,000 in savings. Despite that financial cushion, he said his experience of American life has not matched the expectations he had when he first moved.In the post, he described his life as “insanely lonely” and questioned the quality of life he was getting for the money he spent. He claimed that he pays around $4,000 a month for a one-bedroom apartment, which he contrasted with his larger family home in Mumbai.The comparison was not simply about the size of the houses. For him, it appeared to reflect a wider feeling that the financial and professional gains of living abroad had not necessarily translated into the personal satisfaction he expected.The engineer also said that his father runs a small construction company in India that he could potentially take over. According to his post, the business generates around ₹1 crore annually. If he returned, he said he could live comfortably while remaining closer to his family and home.
His biggest concern is his future children
Returning to India, however, is not an easy decision for him. The engineer said he is engaged and that his partner is on board with the possibility of returning. His bigger concern is what his future children might experience if they are raised in the US or have to navigate the country’s immigration system.According to his post, he wants to have children but does not want them to face the same immigration-related difficulties he experienced. That has left him caught between two possible futures: continuing to build his career in America or returning to India and taking over the family business.His question to Reddit users was essentially whether he should continue pursuing the opportunities available to him in the US or return to India for a potentially more comfortable life closer to home.
Reddit users were divided
The post quickly drew responses from other users, with no clear consensus. Some commenters encouraged him to return to India, particularly because he already had an established family business to potentially join. Others suggested that he should not make such a major decision solely on the basis of his current dissatisfaction and should spend more time considering what he wants in the long term.One suggestion was to spend some time in India before making a permanent move, while another commenter discussed the possibility of having children in the US and retaining more options for the future. The contrasting responses underline why the engineer’s situation is difficult to reduce to a simple “US versus India” choice. His post combines several personal factors: immigration status, career, housing costs, family, future children, savings and a family business waiting in India.Ultimately, his decision goes beyond money, involving loneliness, family, career and his future children. With substantial savings and a family business in India, returning could offer a different quality of life. At the same time, staying in the US preserves career and future opportunities. Rather than a simple US-versus-India choice, he must decide which priorities matter most for his long-term happiness.
