‘Papa, please save me’: Shekhar Suman remembers son Aayush’s final moments at 11, recalls the heartbreaking plea that still haunts him, and opens up about grief and financial struggles

Actor and television presenter Shekhar Suman has revisited one of the most painful chapters of his life, recalling how he continued working while his eldest son, Aayush, battled a terminal illness. In a conversation with The Lallantop, Shekhar spoke about the family’s struggle during the child’s final days, the financial difficulties he faced at the time and the words Aayush spoke shortly before his death at the age of 11. The actor said the loss continues to affect his family, even decades later.For Shekhar, the period was marked by two devastating realities. He had little work and was worried about supporting his family when he learnt that his son was terminally ill. At a time when he felt he had little left to hold on to, he had to keep working while coping with the possibility of losing his child.

‘I was completely ruined’: A father facing two crises

Recalling the moment he learnt about Aayush’s condition, Shekhar described how the news came when his professional life was already uncertain. “I discovered my son was terminally ill. Firstly, I had no work at that time. On top of that, we received such tragic news. I was completely ruined and destroyed. I thought I had nothing left in life,” he said during the interview. He also spoke about the financial pressure he was under, explaining that he was not earning enough to comfortably meet his son’s medical needs and did not want to depend on his family for money.Despite the circumstances, Shekhar was initially reluctant to work in television. He hoped for film offers, but calls from the industry often brought proposals for serials instead. That changed when director Anand Mahendroo approached him for the comedy show Dekh Bhai Dekh. Shekhar said he was hesitant at first, but Mahendroo encouraged him to reconsider, pointing out that Jaya Bachchan was producing the show. Shekhar eventually accepted the role, which became a significant part of his television career.

Working on a comedy show while fearing the worst

Even as his career found a new direction, the situation at home remained difficult. Shekhar said Aayush’s health was deteriorating, leaving him anxious throughout the working day. The production team kept a telephone on the set so that his family could contact him with updates. Every time it rang, he would answer with a pounding heart, afraid that he might hear bad news. After the call, however, he had to return to performing in a light-hearted comedy show.“I still don’t know how I did it all (continued working),” he recalled, describing the emotional difficulty of switching between his personal crisis and his professional responsibilities. For Shekhar, continuing to work was not simply about building a career. He felt responsible for supporting his family, even as he struggled to process what was happening to his son.

‘Papa, I don’t want to go’: Aayush’s final words

Among the memories that have stayed with Shekhar is the moment he says occurred shortly before Aayush died. The actor recalled that his 11-year-old son had begun reciting Sanskrit shlokas. Shekhar said Aayush spoke about seeing a golden light, held his father’s hand and pleaded with him. “He said he saw a golden light coming, held my hand and told me, ‘Papa, I don’t want to go. Please save me.’ Then he started reciting some Sanskrit shlokas, and we were flustered,” Shekhar said.He added that Aayush then told the people gathered around him, including the family’s driver, that he loved them. “He was like an angel; he was a beautiful child,” the actor said. Shekhar described the loss as a tragedy that has never stopped hurting. He said he and his family still spend two to three hours each day thinking and talking about Aayush. “I still don’t know how that tragedy happened to us. But I guess that’s destiny. There’s no bigger tragedy that can befall parents than losing their children,” he said, adding that the wound would never fully heal.

‘We will fight till the end’: The family’s most painful decision

Shekhar also recalled how Aayush’s condition became so severe that his wife, Alka Suman, asked doctors to let their son go, believing he was suffering unbearably. The actor said he initially resisted the idea, telling her that they would continue fighting for their child. But he later acknowledged how difficult it had been for the family to watch Aayush endure so much pain. “She was the ‘savvy mother who begged for her son’s death.’ She was right; we couldn’t bear seeing him suffer like that,” he said.After Aayush’s death, Shekhar said he lost interest in work, money and fame. He continued working because he had to care for the rest of his family. His recollections offer a glimpse into a grief that has remained part of his life. For the actor, professional success could not erase the loss, and the memories of his son continue to occupy a deeply personal place in the family’s everyday life.